Blinding Light

Shining deep, piercing my heart
I open my eyes and see only light
Bright, full of wonder and glory
Warm yet painful, burning through my soul

Turn away my conscience tells me
But i feel you pulling me ever closer
Gravitating towards the warmth like a bug
Only to realize its deathly contraption

But what is it that im drawn to?
Is it so bad to die looking up?
If we are to spend a short time here
Why not spend it in pursuit?

Staring into my heart,
Your beauty i cannot fathom
But i love you as i close my eyes
I feel your presence in my mind

As i push you away...
I think of you ever more
Leave me so im not chained
But with you in my heart

I am free
I am loved
I am happy
I am not afraid.

Unfailing Heart

My heart shattered once
Glue bound it, imperfect cracks
Blood seeping through
Flowing slowly through the veins

Roads guiding blood to the pain
Healed only through time,
Yet time, paused itself
Tortured by the past and present

Where we are in a split second
Our hearts decide
But if that is broken...
What then must we have left

All there is, sorrow and want
We do what we must to try and recover
The wraps and tape we use to cover
Once open for all to see

A wound, red and gray, disgusting and vile
Reveals a weakness in ourselves
pride and ambition arms ready to defend
that which has hurt and will never mend

Broken once, foundation cracked
Will there ever be a chance to regain it back
My heart should be filled with grace and humility
Yet here I stand a sinner, torn apart, rejected, and alone

I need your strength, your love, your unbroken heart

Gravity

Here I am again on my knees
Wishing, hoping, waiting upon thee
Eyes closed, head bowed down
All is quiet, but here I drown

Here I am pressed upon this cement floor
Waiting for you to open the door
Shoulders heavy as I slouch beneath
Lacking all warmth found in the christmas wreath

You still wait, wait on me
To open my heart and help me see
What once was, now lost in sleep
What is to come, not mine to keep

Help me now I cannot flee
Somehow I stand here planted like a tree
Nowhere to go, legs bound
Nothing compares to your name crowned

The weight of this world so full of sorrow
If only for one day my heart could borrow
Then I'd be free, free as thee
No need for things such as gravity

Eternal Silence

The sound of rain
Putters outside the window
I look out, watching, waiting in vain
As people pass by, busy with life

My face dry and cold
Far from what I hold inside
Tears welt up, blink a few and keep it in
Thin as a balloon my heart loses elasticity

The beating once fast, has aged
Weary and wondering when life had passed
Still waiting ... so patiently
The pain, a numbness i cannot explain

Have i slowed time?
I quickly fall into a deep gaze
Staring at the pool on the streets
Like Alice i begin to dream

Break open the vaults inside
The prized possession i see
Take not what is guarded,
My heart opens to thee

Sorrow fills my soul
As one's life is caged yet free
Filled with your glory and might
But lost in love's first sight

Secret of the Wind

Young children free-spirited and curious come hither

As they cling to the path of lights blurred yet bright

A mysterious wind whispered through causing all to shiver

Eyes peered open, warmth filled thy soul, in awe at the sight

What was it that they saw?

The children once cold and bunched, now warm and bare

The fog slowly moving away, droplets dried upon their hair

Renewed, refreshed, their hearts raw

Below their feet, they felt the rush of a stream

This stream cool and light reflected not their own

But of mountains laid with snow, almost as that of a dream

They look back to see, blinding bright, a screeching tone

Quickly they cover their ears, look down, and weep

Capturing their tears, the stream rises to their knees

Yet again their eyes open, this time peace filled in deep

Pain, sorrow, loss, these feelings slowly cease

Their eyes fall to the stream, their throats thirst

As they drink, salt turns to sugar and the stream sweetly divine

Bend down at their knees in the water fully immersed

Towards the mountains they fall empowered by love's design

In snow soft yet deep, they made their imprint

For only a little while, as fallen angels they play

They must leave for everlasting taste of that sweet mint

Fly away; come what may; what will it take for them to stay?

Voices of the past, dreams of the future

Keep them in my heart always will I remember

What was said in this wind's last flight?

I look up to the sky every night

Wondering where they had gone when all went white...

Scapegoat

A creature in the night.
Filled with hate, anger, sorrow
Forced to bring one
Into the shadows with him

This animal curious and full of hope
Dreaming of the day creature will step into the light
Walked into the depths of darkness,
Armed with a mirror for creature to see
Fully knowing, it might never come back.

Forsaken, the animal sworn in as a prisoner of death,
It can  barely stand, broken in heart, mind, and soul
Creature, full of courage and might
Alas, able to crush the spirit within

Ugly, pathetic, drowning creature says
While looking into the mirror, spits at the animal
In the end, that animal shriveled dry
Nothing but a prune, wandering through the night
Hoping to feel the warmth of the sun again

But, all is lost… all that this creature bore
A heart not indeed, a soul, doubtful,
Never will it release his chains, for to live
This creature must watch this animal die
A pitiful satisfaction…

The goat looks back and longs for home
A place so far, wishing it never came
This is the tale of the goat who never escaped
Who believed in the good of all, left to die alone.

Documentary Marathon

Business of Being Born: Insightful look at childbirth in America and how it has evolved from simple natural birth to an efficient method of getting the patient in and out within a certain period of time at the cost of the mother and child's well being. Scheduled C-sections along with a tummy tuck and you have the perfect appointment for delivering your child the quick and easy way... Drive Thru for Babies?

Food, Inc: Do you know how your food is being made? Many of us don't want to know. Shouldn't it be as simple as raising a farm with a specified number of cows? no, it's all about efficiency and mass production. Animals fed corn because one: they're cheap, two: because it makes them fat, three: saves grazing space (can cram them into a house with not much air or good sanitation, expecting them live in their own filth). What goes around comes around. Diseases are rampant and our food are often prone to some kind of unhealthy, not natural diet. Ecoli, Mad cow disease, etc. Not just meat, but corn, vegetables, grains, all different kinds of varieties merged into one single type. Reverse-evolution? See for yourself. Make a difference and support those companies seeking a better alternative to these large companies. Quality or Quantity?

What are Dreams?, Nova: Do they have a meaning or are they just bits and pieces of your subconscious mind? Explore your past and your future through your dreams in an effort to learn and grow as an individual to better prepare yourself for what's ahead. Dreams are part of your evolving brain to mentally gauge your present self and to better learn from your experiences by placing yourself in situations that might or might not happen, by going through your past as if you learned it all in 5 seconds. Amazing how the brain works and functions, how it grows and understands. This begs the question... what do you dream about? 

Cracking the Mayan Code: Race to decode the mayan hieroglyphs full of fanciful art and figures. A nearly destroyed civilization with only a few bits and pieces of their language engraved in stone. Books, anything of cultural value were destroyed by the spanish empire, and lost descendants seek to find their roots through work from brilliant minds all over the world. Follow the journey and get a closer look at how intelligent and complex the mayan civilization was at the time.

Moment of Death: What happens when you die? What determines death? The line between living and not is unfortunately often not well depicted. Is it when your heart stops beating? If so, well then many would have died and came back to life. New technology blurs the line even more, by inducing a state of shock or paralyzation, where growth of cells are slowed enough so that one can operate and bring that person back to life in better condition. Dying is but a process in all of life, but don't be surprised if someone has come back from the dead. For death cannot be defined in strict terms anymore, and while we advance technology to prolong life, they might have to go to the depths of hell before coming back alive. 

Stress: Portrait of a Killer: How much do you worry about things in a day? What do you worry about? Often times these situations that we are stressed over are not something that is life threatening in any sense. Yet there's a lot of tension and unnerving feelings only specific to our species because we are so advanced and thus complicated. Stress causes a number of hormones that with prolonged presence leads to a cycle of increasing damage to the body. When we are stressed we don't digest, we always have this flight or fight response where our blood vessels constrict, our muscles are activated, and these tend to cause a sense of unrest within the body, and while this may be pivotal for a person being attacked by a bear, this is often not the case when we're stressed over the traffic, what to eat, our jobs, people and relationships. This in turn causes imbalance and we are constantly on this high, where we can't get down, we can't calm down, and psychologically, we cause our bodies to malfunction.  highly recommended for people who have a lot of stress, and for those who want to know more about the effects of stress as a source of obesity, cardiovascular disease, low immune system, cancer, etc.

The Science of Sex Appeal: What makes one pretty and attractive? There is scientific evidence that shows that as humans we have evolved to a point where we can tell what determines beauty in a fraction of a second. Our brains have shown us that to flourish as a society there are specific factors that one looks for in an ideal mate. How we interact as a society is complicated and while many cannot obtain the movie stars as their husbands or wives, the way we narrow down our choices is very intricately methodical even if we don't think so. While men look at beauty, women have other alternatives. This film is a quite the interesting look into how the senses are used to determine the best match for good offspring.

2012: Science or Superstition:  gonna happen or not? the mayan prophecy states that on Dec 12, 2012 there will be a major change in what we call our world. there will be a rise in a new age, one that will pave it's way into a golden age, more likely for that of mother nature. the switching of the magnetic poles, the solar activity predictions, and the mayan calendar all suggest the coming of this day, but what are we to expect? we know that there is a direct effect of the sun on our technology and communications, but will that cause floods that ultimately engulf cities and nations worldwide as predicted in the pictures and hieroglyphs of the mayans? it's still up in the air, and this film really pushes forth the idea that we should follow the warnings of our ancestors, for the stars remain constant, and while books, scripture, and other such markings might never be understood, the calendar and the motion of the stars remains relatively the same. Where will you be on that day?

10 Questions for the Dalai Lama: Who is the Dalai Lama? How has he become a political and inspirational figure for the people of tibet? This film goes into the life and history of the Dalai Lama. Glimpses of his past, his interaction with China (whose communist government disrespected the honors and traditions of that nation, and tortured tibetans to follow their system, a system in which any mention of their cultural past gave them a near death sentence), his present life in India, how he has become a presence in the Western society, and where he lies in his stance for peace and democracy. An uncanny personality, the Dalai Lama answers 10 questions on life, conflict, teachings, interests and beliefs. A poor boy, born as a King with the entire weight of his country on his shoulders... Who will be the next Dalai Lama? Will there be one?


This Emotional Life: 1)Family, Friends, Lovers: 2)Facing Our Fears: 3)Rethinking Happiness: Look into how human beings have become reliant on social interactions in the pursuit of happiness. What are the causes of depression, how we perceive specific situations, how a lack in understanding of one another in a social society leads to problems, how a child's first years without love and care can damage a child for life, etc. Trust, Happiness, Love, Anger, Fear... all are emotions that are necessary to survive and evolve, however, in some cases these emotions become sensitive in situations where it is often not needed and thus a chronic presence of these negative emotions will cause difficulties and therefore damage to one's health and more importantly increasing evidence shows it had a positive feedback in causing almost irreparable damage to one's brain. Emotion drives us to be creative and helps us to spur forward, but only through intermittent durations will they be beneficial. Are you happy? What do you define as happiness? This is an excellent 3 episode series on how one can look at life's important features and the science behind the way we feel, the way we interact, and how our psychological minds evolve and function in ways we cannot control.

The 11th Hour: Narrated by Leonardo DiCaprio, this is a stunning and awakening film about how we are implementing total destruction of our society. There is a saying that goes, what one takes, one shall give back in return. As humans we are focused solely on the economic benefits in this rapidly growing society. We are motivated by power, greed, self benefit, and in doing so we are often blind to the consequences that can be seen in the future. We have a near sighted vision, in that what we see is only a few years ahead. What we do is immediate profit, immediate gain, and through that companies all throughout the world have failed to advance technology in a way that accounts for the environment around us. We see ourselves as separate entities from the ground we live and walk on, but we cannot fathom that in so doing, damage to the environment will hit back as if it were a punching bag, that had no choice but to do so. Since we aren't prepared to face it, it will most definitely knock us out. Natural disasters are rising, global warming, total wipeout of specific ecosystems, glaciers melting, we are committing suicide to our own species. Want to make the most difference? I say become a politician. How we go about living in this society will depend on what the government enforces. Be cognizant, every action has a benefit and a consequence. Choose wisely.

The End of the Line: a realistic look in how we see the fishing industry. while we have always prized ourselves in being more healthy, being more aware of what we eat, we have turned a blind eye to what that means. Fish are considered healthier than red meat or any other land animal, but because their habitat is in the vast entities of the ocean we have no idea what kind of damage we're inflicting by overfishing. Endangered species are still being served at top notch restaurants, and without a clue that these species are so thus. with television making fish more and more popular, we are in fact eating more than is necessary. The complete extinction of a portion of the ecosystem leads to large changes in the type and number of other animals within that system. When we get rid of bluefin tuna, an increase in lobster population, when we get rid of lobsters, we have an abundance of shrimp, etc. When will it be at a point where all is lost? With the statistics out and the predictions staggering, we can expect the complete wipeout of the sea's animals by 2048.... are you prepared to live a life without any fish at all? not to mention the fact that there is a direct relationship between fishing and global warming with increased absorption of CO2 in the ocean due to less fish to balance the environment.